Who Does Not Have A Problem With Their Teenagers?
By bro Lee Tian Seng
You will know what I mean if you have teenagers at home. Suddenly, you find your little kids talking back to you and not responding to your questions. You may be wondering why they are so rude or ignoring you. What many parents do not realise is that their children are growing up to be young adults and in the process of trying to understand themselves and develop a self-identity. They want to learn how to make decisions for themselves and be independent, yet they are fearful of venturing out on their own. Teenagers care a lot about doing well in school and sports, in being accepted by friends and how they look physically. These are things that build their self-esteem. On top of these concerns, they are also experiencing changes in their bodies as they enter puberty.
What can Christian parents do to help their teenagers? First and foremost, parents should be understanding and patient with their teenagers. Instead of expecting them to grow up as adults overnight, parents should be supportive and be there to listen to their struggles.
Ephesians 6:4 - And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Next, parents need to improve in the way that they talk to their teenagers. For example, you could try to respond to teenagers who seem to be rude and rebellious by asking them what seems to bother them. Are there some issues that they cannot handle emotionally? When teenagers reply in monosyllabic (giving one word) answers, it could be that they have a small issue that they can well handle on their own or a big issue that they do not want to share with you for fear of you scolding and judging them. Parents can communicate more effectively by asking appropriate questions and holding back their judgement. Ask questions in a caring way instead of sounding interrogative and meddling. It is best to keep your minds open than to assume that your teenagers are keeping secrets and always getting into trouble.
Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Finally, parents should use the Bible to help their teenagers during this growing up years. It is not enough to deal with life’s problems using the wisdom of the world. Show them that God has the answers to all their questions and problems in life. Teenagers are like people who are learning to drive a car, they are not sure how to navigate through life and they will make mistakes. Parents need to be the backseat drivers, giving them advice when they ask for it.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 - All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Soon your teenagers will grow up to be independent and mature adults. So, do not fret if you think you have a problem teenager at home. Just be there for them and show them that you love them.