by bro Lee Tian Seng
What happens when we leave conflicts in marriage unresolved? It will remain an issue that one or both of you will keep in your hearts. It could be anger that you cannot put away which could lead to sin. The Bible warns us that we should not let anger linger in our hearts longer than a day or Satan will tempt us to sin.
Ephesians 4:26-27 - “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”
One might take revenge or try to get even for the hurt he or she received. This ought not to be the way of overcoming a hurt suffered because one should not return evil for evil.
Romans 12:17 - Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.
It could also lead to bitterness and break up the relationship over time.
Ephesians 4:31-32 - Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Therefore, we should not leave any conflicts unresolved. It does not mean that we can always find a solution to our conflicts or have a resolution to all our differences. At times, one has to be more tolerant and forgiving. While at other times, the party who is offended should take steps to talk to the offending party. When this confrontation is done with love and humility, the offending party might see his or her problem and ask for forgiveness.
Matthew 18:15 - “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”
This is where it is possible to resolve the conflict. When one person confesses his or her faults and seek for forgiveness, and the other forgives and forgets all the wrongs.
Matthew 18:21-22 - Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
How often should one forgive? As often as there is a need to forgive. When one is willing to forgive and forget, all conflicts can be resolved.
Let us not choose to leave our conflicts unresolved but to be ready to deal with it with love and prayers.