By bro Lee Tian Seng
Couples need to spend time together after marriage. However, some couples are hesitant to do so. They give the following excuses:
“We do not see the need” - Many couples assume that living together under “one roof” is good enough. It is true that after marriage, couples see one another every day but they are not spending time to talk, expressing their love and enjoying each another’s company. So, there is a necessity to set aside time to nurture love and build their relationship.
“We have no time” – During courtship, couples have time to meet each another and go on dates, but not after marriage. Young couples are often overwhelmed with the demands at work, household chores and taking care of their children. So, there is not much time left for each another. If couples care for each another, they should prioritise their relationship. If we still insist that we have no time, then we should ask if we really care about each another.
“We cannot afford it” – Some couples think that it is costly to go out on dates. They cannot afford it or think that it is not money well spent. They may question why is there a need to eat in a restaurant when you can cook at home. The point is not about going to an expensive place to have a meal or to travel together to a faraway country. It is to be caring enough to set aside time for each another. So, it can be as simple as going for “window shopping” or a walk in the park. Does the cost of spending time together stop you from spending time together? If so, you may what to ask yourself how much you value your relationship.
“We do not enjoy the same thing” – Some couples are clueless about what they can do. Maybe they already find each other boring. Why is it not so during courtship? Then, even when both have different interests, they will accommodate each another. The man will spend some time with his girlfriend shopping in a mall because she enjoys shopping and the woman will spend an evening watching football with her boyfriend even if it is not her interest. Couples were doing this because they did not just care for themselves or their own interests, but also the interests of their partners. So, it is possible to spend time together even if you have different interests. By doing so, it shows how much you care for your spouse.
A car that is not regularly maintained will soon break down. When your car breaks down on a highway and you are rushing for an important appointment, you will be very angry with yourself for not doing regular maintenance. It is the same in marriage. We do not want our marriage to break down and then regret that we have not spent time maintaining the relationship, and show love and care to each another. There is a time for everything under heaven. We need to put our priority on things that are valuable and important.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.
If you really care, you will not give excuses for not spending time with your spouse. You will not be selfish but you will invest time, money and effort in nurturing your relationship and loving each another.
Ephesians 5:28-29 - So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.