By bro Lee Tian Seng
There will be conflicts in marriage, and serious conflicts can break up a marriage. Marriage works not because there is no conflict, but because couples are determined and able to resolve serious conflicts. As it takes two persons in marriage to start a conflict, with each contributing in some way to the conflict, both husband and wife should work together in resolving the conflict. The motivation to resolve conflicts should be our desire to obey God. He wants us to have a good and harmonious marriage relationship, not a broken marriage. He wants us to be committed to our marriage, not to have a divorce.
Couples need to believe that God can help them to resolve conflicts in their marriage. God who gives us strength and wisdom to deal with difficult challenges and trials in our lives, will certainly help us to resolve conflicts in our marriages.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
James 1:5 - If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Therefore, we need to go to God in prayer to ask for help and guidance.
Philippians 4:6-7 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
When we pray, we need to pray in faith and in accordance with the will of God.
James 1:6 - But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
1 John 5:14 - Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us
As we pray, we go before God in faith with an open and sincere heart, desiring to put our problems in His Hands, and also submitting ourselves to His way of solving our problems.
We need to respect God’s teaching on how to solve our conflicts. God teaches that there should be love and respect in marriage. Do we love our spouse enough to listen, to change and to forgive? Many problems cannot be resolved because of our pride and sin. Couples need to be humble before God to confess their faults to each another and their sins to God.
James 5:6 - Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
As we seek God's guidance, we need to obey His teaching. Often, it is difficult because we do not want to submit to His will or are unwilling to admit that we have sinned. Satan wants us to live in disobedience and suffer in misery. He does not want us to live in peace and harmony. We should recognise that our refusal to obey God’s teaching in our marriages is often the cause of our problems.