By bro Lee Tian Seng
The marriage relationship is built on mutual trust. When there are lies and deceit, the relationship cannot be sustained and will break down. This is because the relationship between husband and wife is very intimate and close. Each one puts his or her complete trust and faith in the other.
What happens when a spouse is caught lying to cover his or her misdeeds. For example, the wife overspent on clothing, and so has less money for groceries and milk powder. She lies that her mother needs some money to see a doctor. When the husband finds out the truth, he is upset and may even wonder if his wife has lied to him previously. He may not be as trusting towards his wife as before.
Christians should not lie, so husband and wife also should not. The Bible tells us that God hates a liar.
Proverbs 6:16-19 - These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren.
Lying is a sin and liars will face the judgment of God.
Revelation 21:8 - But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.
What is the remedy for lying in marriage? Firstly, the spouse who lied should ask God and his or her spouse for forgiveness. If not, he or she might consider lying as a small matter and sinning against God as insignificant. It is better to confess to having lied to your spouse than to let your spouse find out.
1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Secondly, the spouse who is lied to should forgive and forget the fault of his or her spouse. God wants us to forgive our spouse, as He also forgives us of our trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15 - For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Lastly, the spouse who lied should promise never to tell a lie again.
Ephesians 4:25 - Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another.
Instead, couple should always be open and honest with each another under all circumstances. This will help in strengthening the marriage relationship and in developing a bond between the husband and wife.