By bro Lee Tian Seng
Some marriages lack love. Husbands and wives do not feel close and love turns cold. You will notice that the love was there during courtship and the first few years after marriage, but it is no more to be found. What can we do if this happens to us?
To put love back into a marriage, couples need to do what they did when love was there. Then, couples spent much time doing the things that nourish love. Before marriage, couples say and do things to please the other person. They remember each other’s special days and give gifts that the other person likes. After marriage, they forget these special days due to busyness and have taken each other for granted. During courtship, couples made effort to dress up and look good for the other person, but now they do not care to look good or dress up. It used to be that couples pay attention to each other when they converse, but now they are too busy watching TV or using their digital devices. In the past, couples show courtesy, respect and appreciation for each other, but now they do not.
One key thing is that couples spent more time together before marriage than after marriage. This is the strangest thing to happen because in marriage they see each other more often since they live together in the same house. The problem is that they are busy doing things in the family and for themselves and have failed to carve out quality time to talk to each another and enjoy each other’s company. When there is no time for each another, love turns cold. Couples should start dating or make appointments to go for a movie or a meal in a restaurant. It needs not be expensive. The important thing is to spend time together and let all these things be done with love.
1 Corinthians 16:14 - Let all that you do be done with love.
God put husband and wife together in marriage and made them “one flesh”
Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
As one flesh, couples need to cherish one another and give time to nourish love. Do not let love die because of our neglect or carelessness.
Ephesians 5:28-29 - So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
Any excuse not to foster the loving relationship in marriage shows the lack of love for each another.