By bro Lee Tian Seng
If you have tried paddling a two-person canoe, you would probably understand the importance of teamwork. To move your canoe smoothly and swiftly forward, you and your partner need to be paddling in tandem with roughly even pulls and in the same direction. If there is no teamwork, you will get nowhere. In marriage, team-work is crucial as well. Couples cannot “get anywhere” without working together and having a common goal. Sometimes, couples seem to be working against each other than together. It is also not easy to follow through when you feel that your partner is not doing his or her part as a teammate. There are a few things that you can do if you are feeling this way.
To begin with, a couple should recognise that each one has unique strengths and weaknesses, and assign clear roles. So, instead of been critical about your partner’s weaknesses, one could compensate and build on his or her strengths. This helps in assigning roles and setting up right expectations. When I asked a couple if they have dis-cussed about sharing duties in housework, the man was quick to volunteer, “Anything that is too heavy and high to reach, I will handle!” Think about assigning roles that match each other’s strengths and teamwork will be smoother.
1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Communicating one’s expectations is vital for teamwork. If a couple plan to renovate their house and quickly get into doing it without discussion and agreement, it will surely result in quarrels and unhappiness. One may be thinking of just giving the house a fresh coat of paint and changing the curtains, but the other partner could be thinking of giving the house a major facelift. Talking about each other’s expectations on how things should be done or on how each should be treated are of primary importance. For example, if you expect your husband to spend some time with the kids so that you can go shopping with your mother, then this needs to be communi-cated.
1 Peter 3:8-9 - Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tender-hearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
Can two walk together when they are going in different directions? Teamwork will only work when couples have shared physical and spiritual goals. If one wants to see the family more involved in church work but the other wants just to do the minimum, there will be conflicts. Trying to live together as a team without a common and shared goal is frustrating. Therefore, go ahead and share your dreams and goals with your partner and be pre-pared to make adjustments for one another. This way, both can work together and support each other to achieve a common goal.
Amos 3:3 - Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
Can one person paddle a two-person canoe? Apparently, it is possible but they have to deliberately sit them-selves toward the centre of the canoe and employ corrective paddling strokes to keep the canoe on a straight path. Isn’t it tough? Similarly, to expect one person to make the marriage works is tough. There is a need for teamwork.