Having A High Expectation
By bro Lee Tian Seng
Many couples are unhappy with their marriages because they did not get what they expect in the relationship. They have certain expectations of what their spouses should be or do for them. Some of these expectations are unrealistic. For example, a husband who expects his wife to serve him or a wife who expects her husband to give her all his attention.
Some also have incorrect expectations of what marriage life should be. People have redefined marriage in their own understanding. Today, people seek self-satisfaction (“I want to be happy”) in life more than service and relationship. So, marriage has become self-serving, a means to an end of meeting some needs and wants in their lives. When these needs and wants are not met, they become dissatisfied with their marriages.
To have a proper expectation in marriage, we need to understand the real purpose of marriage. Since it was God who made marriage for man and woman at the beginning, we need to go to the Bible to find out what is God’s will regarding marriage.
Firstly, the Bible teaches that marriage is a loving companionship.
Genesis 2:18 - And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
Genesis 2:20-22 - So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
In a companionship, it is not about one serving the other spouse all the time but each serving the other and attending to the spiritual, physical and emotional needs of the other person. There is no room for selfishness or hatred because this companionship is cemented by unconditional love for each other.
Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.
Secondly, the Bible teaches that marriage is a committed relationship.
Genesis 2:23-24 - And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
God wants us to be committed in our marriages. However, there can be no commitment without responsibility. The Bible teaches that we need to fulfil our roles as husbands and wives. It is truly difficult to be committed to a husband who does not want to lead and provide for his family. Or a wife who puts personal ambitions before her dedication to love and care for her husband and children. When husband and wife faithfully perform their roles in the family, then will marriage be blessed as what God intends it to be.