By bro Lee Tian Seng
Failure to control one’s anger can lead to sin and ruin a marriage. It can even lead to violence and abuse within the family. If you have an anger problem, you must learn to control it for the sake of the family and to please God. The Bible teaches us this:
Ephesians 6:26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil.
There are four ways to control our anger.
Control our Thoughts
When we understand that anger can cause us to sin against God and others, then we should seek to control angry thoughts by putting them away. Do not allow anger to control us.
Ephesians 4:31 - Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
2 Peter 1: 6 - To knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness,
We can read the Word of God about anger and pray for His help to develop the right thinking and self-control.
Control our Emotions
A foolish man releases all his anger and does not hold back. He says whatever is in his mind without considering if it is right and acts violently. However, the need of vent one’s anger does not justify sinful speeches and actions.
Proverbs 29:11 - A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.
Proverbs 16:32 - He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
We can choose other ways to release our emotions. For example, we could go out for a walk to calm ourselves down or talk to someone about it.
Control our Speech
When we are angry, we sin by using harsh words against our spouses and hurt them. Be slow to speak, slow to wrath, because man’s anger does not work God’s righteousness.
James 1:19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Matthew 12:36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. 37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
We could remind ourselves not to speak too much when we are angry, so that we will not accidentally say something wrong or hurtful.
Control our Actions
In the heat of anger, we may act rashly and release our anger in a violent way, causing physical injury to our spouses or damage to properties.
Proverbs 14:17 - A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of wicked intentions is hated.
We could separate ourselves physically from our spouses during a heated argument by moving away, so that we will not be able to react by throwing things or hitting our spouses.
There will be times that we get angry but we need to control our anger so that we will not hurt our spouses and sin against God.