By bro Lee Tian Seng
Whom you marry is important when we understand that marriage is a commitment. It is not like choosing to buy a house or a car. If you do not like it after purchasing it, you can always sell it away and buy another one. Hence, we need to seek to marry someone who is scripturally eligible (not one who is unscripturally divorced or has a living spouse) and a faithful Christian with a good character.
The Bible tells us that Abraham instructed his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac (Genesis 24). His criteria was that the prospective wife must be from his relatives who were not of the wicked nations. The couple had never met but were matched based on godly choice and God’s guidance.
So, how do we choose a mate in this time and age? Solomon reminded his son to be wise in relating to women.
Proverbs 5:1-2 - My son, pay attention to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my understanding, that you may preserve discretion, and your lips may keep knowledge.
We too should be wise when choosing a marriage partner. We should not be too hasty in choosing or make a choice based on our emotions. People tell us to “follow our heart” when it comes to relationships. When a couple fall in love and get married, the risk is that they will fall out of love because emotions change and is volatile. Today, you feel that love but the next day you do not feel it.
Proverbs 28:26 - He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered.
A more important criteria is the person’s character. The Bible teaches that one should seek a virtuous wife.
Proverbs 31:10-11 – Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.
If you marry a person who does not have good character, you will have trouble living and relating with him or her. There will be conflicts and even breakdown in the marriage. Surely you do not want this to happen.
So, it is wise to take time to consider the spiritual maturity and character of the prospective partner. Take time to observe how he or she relates to his or her family and friends. Make effort to understand his or her character by talking to him or her and see how he or she behaves in different situations, especially in dealing with matters of integrity and responsibility. Is he or she desiring to be Christ-like in his or her character?
Ephesians 4:13 - Till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;
When you find a mate who has good character, you have found a precious stone (Proverbs 31:10) and are blessed by the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord.