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Show Appreciation For Each Other

By bro Lee Tian Seng

When there is a conflict in the marriage, couples tend to not show appreciation for each other but see the faults in the other. It is important, especially when the relationship is strained, that couples maintain a balanced view and be appreciative of each other.

Why do we need to show appreciation? God has given woman to man to be his companion because it is not good for man to be alone. Therefore, husbands should be thankful for their wives that God has blessed them with.

Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.

He should be proud of his wife, and honour her for being submissive and caring. Some men always criticise their wives and show no respect for them, even though they are submissive and dutiful wives. This is not fair to the wives and does not encourage them to continue to be submissive and hardworking.

Proverbs 12:4 - An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

He should also praise her, and often say “thank you” to her. Do you thank your wife when she prepares a meal for you or take care of the children while you are at work? Can we be more appreciative of the small things that they do well, rather than to be attentive in finding faults in them?

Proverbs 31:29-31 - “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.

The Bible teaches us to show honour when honour is due (Romans 13:7). So, not only should husbands honour their wives, wives should do the same to their husbands. She should appreciate her husband for working and supporting the family with his income. He spends long hours at work, and even needs to bring home work to do. He is also likely to be stressed with a heavy workload in meeting deadlines. So, even though the workplace is not an entirely pleasant place to work in, he still goes to work every day because he needs the salary to support himself and his family.

Ephesians 5:33 - Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

How can husbands and wives start to be more appreciative of each another? You can start by listing what good that your spouse has done for you or for your family. Even for the qualities you see in him as a Christian. Working with this list, every day make it a point to express love and thankfulness to your spouse. At first, you might find it kind of an unnatural thing to do (this feeling could be a sign that you have not been doing it), but after some time, it will become a habit. You do not need the list to be deliberate and conscious in showing appreciation. Go ahead and try it! You can almost see instant change in your spouse’s behaviour and improvement in your marriage relationship.

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